Deciding what to cook and going to the grocery store.
It seems like it wouldn't be that hard. Kind of like getting dressed in the morning. You just do it. For the first month after we returned, I was struck every day with panic over what to feed our family. I would walk into the Super Target right across the street and meander aimlessly through the aisles.
For the first 34 years of my life, I shopped at an American grocery stores and cooked American food. Why did that all of a sudden seem impossible?
I guess this is a classic expression of reverse culture shock. Did you know there is culture shock in returning to your home country? I think I had heard about it before, but I certainly hadn't given it any thought. And then I was paralyzed.
I am not exaggerating when I say I cried every time I went to the grocery store for the first three weeks we were back. It was absolutely overwhelming. I had gotten used to cooking Italian food. Now I couldn't find the ingredients to make what I was used to cooking and I couldn't remember what the heck to cook with the American food on the shelves.
A wise friend offered great words of advice. Having lived overseas herself, she said, "Your life in Italy will always affect your current life. Think of that as a good thing." Yes. Good that I don't want to make hamburgers or pot roast or Bar-B-Que. It's OK that we are craving mozzarella balls and pasta carbonara.
So step one was accepting the new culinary schizophrenic I had become. I don't have to cook like an American and I can't cook entirely like an Italian.
Fast forward two months and our meal plan this week has two all-American dishes and three Italian dishes (and a Chinese dish just for the heck of it). We made Bolognese Ragu for the first time last night (it's been way too hot outside to make it before now. . . ), and it was divine. With the coming of Fall in Italy always came Ragu. It just felt right. And on Christmas Eve this year, we will have have Tortellini and Brodo, just as every family is Bologna will. Of course, Christmas Day will bring a big, ole' turkey or ham--neither of which will be eaten by an Italian.
Step two was finding somewhere to shop where I wouldn't break down in tears! I found a great little "market" of a store called Freshfield Farms that helped me imagine a manageable shopping experience. They have beautiful fresh produce, and they have fresh meats they cut themselves. That's it. On Saturdays I drive up to Winter Park to go to their Farmer's Market, which is life-giving to me. Small vendors, fresh produce, seasonal vegetables. And there is even a vendor where I can get some of the Italian cheeses we desperately miss.
There is still much I miss being able to get at the store, but I'm slowly filling in the gaps. And no tears in weeks! Once more, I am learning how to embrace the new me.
1 comment:
Once again, my heart resonates with you! And we are not exactly passionate about Russian cuisine. But whenever we are in the States, we are paralyzed with the 'what should we have for dinner' question. And we don't have the problem of ingredients not being available (except pelmeny).
One of my problems is that I expect life (and cooking) in the States to be easy, and I don't want to put any effort into even thinking about dinner!
And supermarkets...let's just say we have a strategic plan we use each time we return, so that no one breaks down in the store. American supermarkets are simply OVERWHELMING! I think even normal American suffer hidden stress from what they think is a normal part of life!
Praying for you as your grow roots in your new pots...give yourself (and each other) a lot of grace!
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