Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Downside of a Calling

As I write this, I am in tears. Every bone in my body is literally aching to return to Bologna tomorrow. There is so much that stands in my way, and I am grieving it. I don't long to return to be comfortable (it's not), I don't long to return to escape the process of raising the support we need to return (I LOVE sharing what God is doing in Italy). I am longing because for some crazy reason, God has written Italy on my heart and I cannot be free of it.

It is a gift to be so sure of our calling. When we are enduring the Questura or literally melting from the heat, we can press on knowing God has some very specific plans. And the steps of faith we have to take every day feel a little less scary knowing that He will finish what He has begun.

But the downside is the incredible ache we feel to be doing what it is God has called us to do. I long for the people and the conversations and opportunity to talk about Jesus with so many who want to and know nobody to do so with. I long for, yearn after, want with every fiber of my being to be in the place where God has called us. It is permanently a piece of me.

We have shared how thankful we are for this furlough God has provided for us to get some rest before returning. We really are. And He is providing that rest. As we soak it up, and our energy returns, we find ourselves now struggling with what is between us and the place God has made for us in Bologna.

Time. We have to be out of the country until January because of tax reasons. Nothing can change that. We are trying to make the most of these days to prepare us to be fully-charged to return. Waiting is hard. Really, really hard.
Money. We still need to raise almost $2000 a month to cover our increased cost of living needs. In the past, I would have been really anxious about how God was going to provide this money. I think I am able to better walk in faith these days. I know God would not have written these people so deeply on my heart if He didn't still have plans for us there. Still, we need Him to provide. And quite frankly, I am so in awe of what God is doing in Bologna that I want to tell everybody about it! I want everyone to partner with us and have a chance to be a part of an incredible, humbling, amazing work by the Spirit of God! I want everyone I meet to catch a glimpse of what God is doing and be a part of it.

The ache hurts. But it is beautiful. It is evidence of God, and I rejoice! I am driven to pray and ask and claim like I never have been before. Would you please pray with us? Would you please join in praying for God's provision of the support we need? Would you pray for our little corner of the world and the place God has made for us there. . . that He would continue to be at work and that we would have the privilege of seeing a harvest in Italy that has not been seen in generations. Pray for the sweet friends we have made. Pray they would one day live in the freedom Christ died for. Pray they would one day know eternal life.

Thanks friends. Thanks for aching a little bit with me.

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